Have you Heard of a Telephone? 1876

Wells Fargo cancelled a planned sales incentive and reward trip to Las Vegas last
month as the outcry over companies plans to spend TARP (Troubled Asset Relief
Program) funds on “excessive” indulgences swelled to epic levels. No banks receiving
TARP funding should have meetings that involve travel or hotel expenses, because
they’re spending the taxpayer’s money. This is the stern message that we keep
hearing from the media as the historic vote on the “stimulus” package looms on the
horizon this evening.

The Drudge Report quoted Texas representative John Culbertson who said, “Nancy
Pelosi needs the vote to be done for the weekend, so she can head out for her
European Vacation,” and everything seems set for the historic vote casting the
boulder rolling down the hill of trillion dollar annual operating deficits.

The Democrats, unable to garner ANY Republican votes, have a small problem. Of
course it’s fortunate that the recount in Minnesota got Al Franken elected. This creates
a 60 person “super majority” in the Senate that stops any attempts that might be
made at the old fashioned “filibuster,” a blustery effort to speak for as long as is
necessary to secure debate and discussion on a topic that requires it. Without
Franken, we’d have to have political debate and public hearings on all topics, and
lord knows if we don’t get these pork laden legislations out within minutes (especially
the stimulus bill which expires the same day as the milk I bought Saturday), they might
burn in the oven (Sorry, I think I am thinking about my pillsbury crescent rolls). The
problem is that Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown’s Mother passed away last week.

My condolences to Senator Brown and his family. Also some suggestions. As a
Senator, he could ask his family to delay the funeral services until late Sunday. I’m only
suggesting this because the government (yes, the same government that’s telling all
the big companies to stop spending taxpayer dollars foolishly) is going to send a
military jet to ferry him back and forth to Ohio because he can’t fly back and forth in
time for the vote, while making his Mom’s funeral on time with commercial air
transportation. Delta has a flight from Cincinnati at 12:40, arriving in the capital at
2:01PM, with a 6:10AM, arriving at 7:54AM on Sunday. Even if the Senator is in
Columbus, he’d be available for a 11AM funeral without incident. It’s a 7 hour drive to
Columbus. How many small businessmen have made the all-day drive to get back for
a kid’s soccer game the next morning. The whole thing is beyond comprehension.

If this delay idea doesn’t work, perhaps he can call someone on the telephone to cast
his vote for him. Can’t a Senator “trust” other Senators to vote as instructed? I transfer
money from one bank account to another by phone. Also the internet. It’s more
recently invented, but has government level encryption (Al Gore invented it so it’s
environmentally friendly also) and you can do a bunch of secure things on this world
wide web thingy. If that doesn’t work, Verizon does this call in thing to vote on
“American Idol,” and I’m sure they’d set up a special text number to tabulate his vote.
Whatever they do, they have no reason to fly this man to Washington and back to
vote on the stimulus package. It’s not going to change the direction of the river we’re
rafting on.

Be mindful, be careful and good luck!